Dear Saturday

Dear Saturday,

“To write or not to write. That is not really a question.”

Yes. I’m back.

One reason why I came to hiatus is that I feel like I’m a living blank paper forever. I always feel empty although I chose to be happy everyday. I’m feeling down sometimes even though I’ve gone through good times somehow. You know that feeling? Like you are walking along the street and something would just come out of nowhere, meddling your way, knocking your head off, and that one thing suddenly changed your life? Hmmm.. Like.. how you perceive this world? the people you get along with? the stuff or whatever kind of leisures you used to engage yourself with?

It’s weird right?

“I think I’m lost. . . ”

I used to believe that once I follow that star forever, I will never be lost. But it seems like the total opposite just happened. Stars don’t twinkle, yes. But that star ceases to shine brightly anymore. We crossed the same streets sometimes but refuses to see each other in the eyes. We still breathe the same air, at least. But time is ticking so fast. What if we’ll never breathe the same air any longer? Can this be a question or not?

That’s why I decided to get lost everyday… in a far away city… instead of waiting for a dead star to come back alive, still shining.

As I was getting along with myself and with this life, I realized that one thing is missing in me, or perhaps, did I miss something? It can or can’t be.

But I have no idea about it.

Yesterday could have been better than today. I could have changed things and turn them into something real.

And that’s what I missed.

I missed that chance.

And now I’m really lost.

Fearlessly looking for that chance again,
Camille

 

P.S. Would you find it for me? or Would you give it for me?

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Back In Time

There were a million times
I wish to rewind this life of mine
All I wanna do is to sit and cry
Coz longing for you, at first is not fine

Go back to before that tragic time
that time you were about to leave my side
I was afraid to look in your eyes
Coz maybe you’ll disappear after a glance

But I beg you to stay, to stay, and to stay
I can’t breathe if you make me feel this way
I grab your hand and promise one thing
that promise in my heart, it stings.

And now our tomorrows turned into years
years that turned into sorrows and fears
How I wish to turn back this time of mine
so that I can finally say, “Without you, I’m totally fine”.

Back In Time

There were a million times
I wish to rewind this life of mine
All I wanna do is to sit and cry
Coz longing for you, at first is not fine

Go back to before that tragic time
that time you were about to leave my side
I was afraid to look in your eyes
Coz maybe you’ll disappear after a glance

But I beg you to stay, to stay, and to stay
I can’t breathe if you make me feel this way
I grab your hand and promise one thing
that promise in my heart, it stings.

And now our tomorrows turned into years
years that turned into sorrows and fears
How I wish to turn back this time of mine
so that I can finally say, “Without you, I’m totally fine”.

Tears, tears, tears
Can be from you, from me,
Or from anybody.
But why does it go down?
To move on and be happy?
Or isn’t it just
a common tragedy?

Tragedy, Tragedy
May happen to you, to me
Or to anybody.
But why is it recurring?
To suffer and to weary?
Or isn’t it just
a painful reverie?

Reverie, reverie
will come from  you, from me,
or from anybody.
But why do you feel lost?
To escape or accept reality?
Or isn’t it just
A bittersweet scenery?

Tears, tragedy, reverie
these are all
beautiful sceneries.
But who knows?
A tears from me
can bring you a pinch
of recurring tragedy
And later on,
you will realize
how painful it is
to be alone
in that world we called
Reverie.

HAPPY BUCKET 1.0

Sultry Soul

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

Things that have been making me happy lately…

  • Good Books – when I do have spare time, I always find a way to read books that can motivate my mood to write for my blog and also to feel inspired. 🙂 Romance is my favorite genre so I will share my top 6 novels.
  1. TELL ME THREE THINGS by Julie Buxbaum
  2. TO ALL THE BOYS I LOVED BEFORE by Jenny Han
  3. P.S. I STILL LOVE YOU by Jenny Han
  4. ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS by Stephanie Perkins
  5. THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY by Jenny Han
  6. AN ABUNDANCE OF KATHERINES by John Green
  • Coffee – my best friend and my lover hahaha 😉 You will never go wrong with this I promise!
  • Comfy Couch – and cuddly bears!
  • A nice person to hangout with – for clean fun and easy going conversations about random stuffs and life. 😛
  • Victoria’s Secret Vanilla…

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Something Temporary

Waiting behind the summer’s shadow
To find the man who’s fated for me
Calling his name but heart is hollow
It echoed in the place I called memory

Gazing behind that star’s shadow
To know if his eyes shine when he sees me
Hoping every second to see him once more
But chances left me in serenity.

Dreaming behind my bed’s shadow
To go in our place of fantasy
Meeting him under the resplendent rainbow
I want this dream turn into reality

Sitting behind the sun’s shadow
To remember your sweetest smile, so good to me
Sighing along the sea, so shallow
Coz what I’m thinking is a false destiny

Moaning behind this room’s shadow
To escape that painful reverie
Knowing that our feelings caused sorrow
I think our love is something temporary

So finally, giving up my own shadow
To let it go and rest peacefully
Waving goodbyes coz today will be our tomorrow
And this is the end of our story

Plain Yet Extraordinary Paper

 

 

A plain paper,
yes I am.
I am used for writing letters,
yet there is no time,
that I was chosen to be sent
just to anyone else.

I never thought
that this might happen.
She left me.
Now I’m left crumpled.
She didn’t write anything on me
But rather threw me unstapled.

One year had passed,
I can still remember those words she’d said.
I wish I could turn back time,
So she won’t let me be bequeathed.

Looking back,

How are you going to describe me? I asked her
“Plain.Simple. But a very extraordinary paper.”
What makes me extraordinary, dearest maiden?
“Coz no matter how plain you are,
there’s still someone who will surely look at you
as if you are the most perfect paper ever existed,
and that makes you extraordinary, my friend ”
Are you that someone, my dearest maiden?

Those words I can still now remember,
Now I’m asking, “Why did she left me unanswered?”
I never expected that a girl someone like her
Will left me hanging as if I’m not there:
On her side, whenever she’s happy
On her side,whenever she’s sad
On her side, whenever she’s mad
She was always looking for me,
Coz I’m her little special extraordinary

But everything
will change someday
Sooner or later,
I’ll expect what she has to say.
Just wait for me, my dearest maiden
Coz time will come; We’ll see each other again.

It’s been a year, but I’m still living.
Anywhere, everywhere, I am flying
Unscathed I might be,
There’s nothing wrong with me.
But every person I met,
Seems like they want me to divest
In this existing world, full of quacks,
Quite impressed that I lasts

Now I stopped at this certain point
this area is not unknown.
In my mind, this spot flitters
A saccharine scene plays over and over
Aha, and  this is the remarkable place,
Where she once left me off-face.

Tired of going anywhere,
I wish she is now here.

Seconds, minutes…
I hear someone’s weeping
Then I go there, and asked:

How are you going to describe me?
“Crumpled yet still perfect”
What makes me perfect by then?
“Had you already forgotten ?
that there’s still someone who will surely look at you
as if you are the most perfect paper ever existed?”
I thought she will never recognized me.
And so I tell her:
All those words you had uttered,
there’s no time that they’ve not existed
But then, I asked her: Why did you left me?

She sighed.
She is clueless.
To the point, I want to cry
Because this pain is often bearable
unless you’re strong enough
to stand straight and not even stumble

She says:
“I left you, yes I did.
I threw you, yes I really did.
I did that not because I hate you
nor because you’re not something special
I did that for you
because you’re my little extraordinary,
and I love you.”

But why?

“Coz now I will send you,
and later you’re no longer with me.
How does it feel to live without me my friend?
I’d let you go to prepare you for this moment.”

Yes. I know this day would come
that you will send me to anyone
But I thought I am your little extraordinary
And the fact that you will never leave me.
Yet, now I am ready.
I will do anything for my dearest maiden
me, being extraordinary, will just hold on to our memories.

Just always remember
I’m not the paper that got away
nor the paper you failed to keep
Rather, I’m your little special extraordinary
that you lured once and told me
“Someone will surely look at me
as perfectly as I am”
yet it’s not you who should’ve said that
Because by this time,
you have reminded me
that I’ll no longer be yours,
and so I’ll be back
to the old me:
plain, white and just ordinary

 

 

 

 

 

How Are You?

How are you? asked JOY.
“Just like how I see the rainbow”
Indeed, I know that’s not what you mean
The real JOY behind you was barely seen
When will you stop pretending?

How are you? asked HOPE.
“Just like how I reach my dreams”
Indeed, I know that’s not what you mean
The real HOPE behind you was barely seen
When will you stop pretending?

How are you? asked LOVE.
“Just like how I say I Love You”
Indeed, I know that’s not what you mean
The real LOVE behind you was barely seen
When will you stop pretending?

How are you? asked CARE.
“Just like how I handle you”
Indeed, I know that’s not what you mean
The real CARE behind you was barely seen
When will you stop pretending?

How are you? I asked.
“Why are you asking me that?”
Indeed, I know that’s not what you mean
Perhaps, you’re blind to judge those feelings
your questions have no beings,
Coz everything for was just like pretending.

I Think I Am Lucky Enough

 

Chinese Zodiac – Year of the Rabbit

FORTUNE IN 2016

China Zodiac Animal - Rabbit

Chinese: 兔 tù
Years of the Rabbit:1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011, 2023
For Chinese people, the rabbit is a tame creature representing hope for a long time. It is tender and lovely. The moon goddess Chang’e in Chinese legend had a rabbit as her pet, which stimulated the thought that only this creature was amiable enough to match her noble beauty. People in Rabbit sign are not aggressive but approachable. They have a decent, noble and elegant manner.

Earthly Branch of Birth Year: Mao
Wu Xing (The Five Elements): Mu (Wood)
Yin Yang: Yin

Lucky Signs for Rabbit:
Lucky Numbers: 3, 4, 9
Lucky Colors: red, blue, pink, purple
Lucky Flowers: snapdragon, plantain lily, nerve plant
Lucky Directions: east, southeast, south

Things Should be Avoided:
Unlucky Numbers: 1, 7, 8
Unlucky Colors: dark brown, dark yellow, white
Unlucky Direction: northwest
People with Rabbit sign usually impress others with an image of tenderness, grace and sensitive. They are romantic in relationship, having a high demand in life quality. They avoid arguing with others, and have a capability of converting an enemy into a friend. They are homebody and hospitable, and like house fitting-up. They can work with speed and efficiency, do not insist and get angry easily. But they also like hesitating, which makes them lose many chances.

  • Strengths
    Gentle, sensitive, compassionate, amiable, modest, and merciful
  • Weaknesses
    Amorous, hesitant, stubborn, timid, conservative
  • Best Matches: Sheep, Monkey, Dog, Pig
    They are romantic in love and adventurous in life. They know how to make compromises to make their relationship lasting and fresh. Living together, they can become more tolerant and considerate, and life will be sweet and happy.
  • Bad Matches: Snake, Rooster
    Their relationship cannot be everlasting, for they will suffer from a series of disagreement and conflicts. They both feel suppressed in marriage life.

 

Source: http://www.travelchinaguide.com/intro/social_customs/zodiac/rabbit.htm

 

 

What are you really studying?”
He leans back to look at her. “The statistical probability of love at first sight.”
“Very funny,” she says. “What is it really?”
“I’m serious.”
“I don’t believe you.”
He laughs, then lowers his mouth so that it’s close to her ear. “People who meet in airports are seventy-two percent more likely too fall for each other than people who meet anywhere else.
-Jennifer E. Smith, The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight