“To write or not to write. That is not really a question.”
Yes. I’m back.
One reason why I came to hiatus is that I feel like I’m a living blank paper forever. I always feel empty although I chose to be happy everyday. I’m feeling down sometimes even though I’ve gone through good times somehow. You know that feeling? Like you are walking along the street and something would just come out of nowhere, meddling your way, knocking your head off, and that one thing suddenly changed your life? Hmmm.. Like.. how you perceive this world? the people you get along with? the stuff or whatever kind of leisures you used to engage yourself with?
It’s weird right?
“I think I’m lost. . . ”
I used to believe that once I follow that star forever, I will never be lost. But it seems like the total opposite just happened. Stars don’t twinkle, yes. But that star ceases to shine brightly anymore. We crossed the same streets sometimes but refuses to see each other in the eyes. We still breathe the same air, at least. But time is ticking so fast. What if we’ll never breathe the same air any longer? Can this be a question or not?
That’s why I decided to get lost everyday… in a far away city… instead of waiting for a dead star to come back alive, still shining.
As I was getting along with myself and with this life, I realized that one thing is missing in me, or perhaps, did I miss something? It can or can’t be.
But I have no idea about it.
Yesterday could have been better than today. I could have changed things and turn them into something real.
And that’s what I missed.
I missed that chance.
And now I’m really lost.
Fearlessly looking for that chance again,
P.S. Would you find it for me? or Would you give it for me?